warten

interminable wait
I think of the way you feel around mean
and beside me
and in me
I have waited this long;
why are the last days so much more
unbearable in your absence?

this is tearing me inside
to live this life of longing
confusion for what I want
and what you are willing to give
I don't even recognize myself
in some of my choices
not knowing if I can ever love
and also be true to myself

but when I see you
these questions will fade
all I will feel is your presence
and my quickening heartbeat
you will look at me with those eyes
a mile deep
I will melt into the moment
forget where my skin ends
and yours begins
it can't come soon enough

chill

there are moments you experience
and know you will remember for many years
I close my eyes and see the streaks
of clouds across the sky as it lightened to dawn
I will forget
the cold feet, the cold fingers, the icy bum, and the way my goosebumps were unavoidable,
but not the sky as it turned to daylight.

so many of me

I play many roles. I have many parts, many labels, many sides. Most people see only one or two. I am outgoing and friendly. I am a curmudgeon. I am exhausted but hyper. I am soft spoken. I am a good listener. I can't shut up to give you a word edgewise. I am professional. I drink at some shoots. I take photos in traffic. I hate when people don't pay attention at the wheel.

We are all so many people. It is impossible to know someone completely. When you aren't around, they are different, even in some small way, no matter how well you know them. It is what makes us ourselves. When you accept the "whole package" of another person, you also accept those parts you'll never see - and you promise to be okay with that, not to push and pull and starve someone out until they are malleable to your wishes. It is okay to be yourself; imperfections are loveable, too, and definitely don't preclude you from a life of love and joy. It is okay to share how you feel, with respect, and not feel the need to submerge your true self beneath the surface of the "you" that someone else knows.

We are all strong, and we are all weak. It's the self-awareness of the gray between these poles that draws me into you. I play so many parts, I can't help but being a little bit of all of these people inside me. No, I'm not crazy.

City

skyline crowds the dark
watch sunset waver to dusk
another day gone